Sillybug Saturday: The Queen of Biscuits!

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The Queen of Biscuits!

Once upon a time in the village of Biscuits there lived a queen called Queen of Biscuits! Everyday she knew how to make biscuits, but if she did not have her recipe she did not know how to make biscuits.

One day she wanted to make biscuits, but her recipe was GONE. She had a enemy and that enemy was the DARK DARK BISCUITS. Their biscuits were not as good as the Queen’s so that’s why they wanted it.

And her brother did not like her, but when they were little he liked her. One day when they were 5 when they were napping this big giant spider came up and took her brother and left her alone.  Her mom was never back, only the father.

The brother thought that his sister, the Queen of Biscuits, had sent the spider.  That’s why they didn’t like each other. He always wanted to make biscuits like her.  He was jealous. And he became the DARK DARK BISCUITS. His biscuits were not tasting as good.  They were always dark brown, always!

“Why are MY BISCUITS ALWAYS DARK?”, he said!

So he called his sister for the recipe.

Sister said, “YOU CAN’T HAVE IT!”

So he came and stole it.

He tried to steal it but guards were watching.  So he disguised himself as a guard and fought them. And then went in there.  He liked the castle.  He remembered it when he was a kid. He remembered his sister.  It made him sad. He wanted to see his sister, but she wouldn’t let him. So he stole the biscuit recipe and went home.  Leaving his trail of flour footprints behind.

The Queen of Biscuits followed the footprints as fast as she could. Step by step by step.  She found him finally. She had sad happy feelings because she missed him and also because she hadn’t let him have the recipe.

She said, “You can have the biscuit recipe, but you gotta give it back to me.  We will take turns using it.”

They got to visit each other again and share the recipe.  They lived happily ever after taking turns making biscuits.  He even changed his name to the King of the LIGHT LIGHT BISCUITS. She changed her name too.  To the Queen of LIGHT LIGHT BISCUITS.

The End

We would like to include the Sillybug’s actual Biscuit recipe as a thank you for reading.

Ingredients:

  • Self-Rising Flour 2 cups usually
  • Butter Flavored Crisco 1/3 cup sometimes more
  • Milk Whole or Buttermilk, but sometimes we just use what we have like 1%

Preheat the oven 375 degrees. Sift the flour into a bowl. Cut the Crisco into the flour with a pastry cutter or fork. Add some milk. Usually a little less than a cup.  We mix the milk and flour gently with a fork, because that’s what they told my mom to do in 4H many years ago. I like to put my hands in the dough to mix it. When it is mixed you can sift flour on the counter and roll out the biscuits. Put flour on the roller too or it will stick. Roll it out. Use different cookie cutters to have a great time.  Like snowmen, hearts, or stars.  You can use just a round one too.  I like to put secret ingredients in my biscuits. Nobody except my mom and dad and grandma know about it.  Cook the biscuits on a pan, but not squished together. We just watch them until they start turning light brown.  That’s usually about 15 minutes or while we make bacon and eggs.

Clean the dough up in the bowl by licking it if your mom lets you.

When the biscuits are done you EAT them and ROAR!

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31 Days of Prayer with Odd Little Thing Part 2

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The last 2 weeks have been filled with sickness(yuck),snow (yay), and the death of my grandmother. I’m a little behind, but here is part 2.

Seasons

  • Valleys
  • Doubt
  • Provision
  • Enjoying the ordinary moments

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the sun.” Eccl 3:1

“So don’t be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:31

Dear Lord,

It has been a tough season for a while now and there are days that joy has been hard to come by. Please forgive me for losing hope during this season and thank you for providing for us despite my lost hope. Honestly, I am ready for a less challenging season, but I’m sure there has been a purpose for this one.

I’ve grown to search and seek joy in the little and ordinary moments. I am recognizing those moments with more clarity now. Moments at the dinner table, watching Netflix, or playing a made-up game with the Sillybug.

I am so imperfect though Lord, and just today my patience was so short, so thin.  I found it hard to focus on finding joy in my day. It was much easier to focus on the challenges of the season and what we could have done differently to prevent the struggles. Please forgive me for that and help me to find peace by focusing on You and your Grace.

It is hard to admit, but I know that I will be one day be able to reflect on this season and be thankful for it. Somedays I already can.

Dear Lord thank you for loving me despite of losing focus on You and Your promises to take care of us during this season.

I pray I can see the goodness you have blessed us with and be grateful for them.

In His Name Amen

Rest and Balance

  • The Hustle
  • Being thankful for rest. Can I get a snow day please.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-30

“For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10

Dear Lord,

I am so thankful for rest. Thank you for giving me signs to know I need it and helping me recognize those signs. Thank you for blessing me with a husband who doesn’t make me feel guilty when I need to rest.  I’m thankful that when I need a quiet moment he doesn’t judge, but just let’s me be.

As you know this has been a busy season in our lives.  Pulling two jobs has made me weary, physically and mentally.  But I am forever grateful for the opportunities that you gave me to work so that our family could survive the Holiday season.  And now I am grateful for the rest and also the peace that comes from when I actually choose to put my faith in you.  I’m not sure why that is so hard to do sometimes.

Thank you for once again providing for us today.  I am constantly amazed by how You come through.  It might be the last minute, but You do it, and everything is okay. It is amazing the peace and rest we can have when we give our troubles to you and trust you to take care of us. Today I thought about how you provided manna for the Isrealites as they roamed in the wilderness.  This season has kind of been like a wilderness for us(though I know there are people in this world with a much worse “wilderness”), but you have taken care us everyday.

Thank you Lord for rest and peace.  I pray I continue to come to you when I am weary and that You will always give me rest.

Authenticity

  • Being transparent when appropriate
  • Perfection is not possible, don’t lead others to feeling unworthy by constant displays of staged perfection. Mix a little real in, some of the broken, and let them see how Jesus gives you hope even when things are messy.

“This is why for Christ’s sake I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties, For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10 (Yeah, this is one of my favorites.)

Dear God,

Help me use my desire to live life oddly and honestly influence others in a positive way.  I pray I am doing the right thing with this desire.  I pray I use it not to have people feel sorry for me, but for people to see how You have worked in my life through the challenging times. And how the times that I have put my faith and trust in you have made me stronger.

I pray that I can be authentic in how I present myself to others and that I can appreciate others’ authenticity.

I pray that people will feel a sense of comfort in knowing that I struggle with life just the same as other people.  I pray that I can balance the pretty with the not so pretty and in doing so share Your love, mercy, and grace with others.

31 Days of Prayer with Odd Little Thing

imageI was so excited to discover this amazing book, “31 Days of Prayer for the Dreamer and the Doer” by Jenn Sprinkle and Kelly Rucker and the gals at The Well Studio.  I need this book, right now, at this very moment. (I need the Bible too, I know this) I am a Dreamer, which can be distracting and overwhelming at times.  I am a doer, same symptoms as the dreamer part.  Life is a little challenging right now.  I need some helpful reminders to get me focused and back on track.  (Yes, I read my Bible.  Yes, that should be enough, don’t judge)  This book is just what I need and I believe God guided me toward it, through Instagram.  Because I’m sure God would be on Instagram, well He’s everywhere, so yes, He is on Instagram.

I thought I would document my journey on the blog, sharing 3 of my prayers from the week. That way I have a reason to go back and study what I wrote through out the week.  It will be like a weekly review and checkup for myself and maybe, just maybe, help someone along the way.  I’m basically going to just type out my journal entries for the week. So here goes. Enjoy.

1/25/2015 Prayer

-Distractions

-Holding on to negativity

-Changing my Perspective

Dear Lord,

One of my distractions from prayer is self-pity. I get so frustrated with my situation and feel too angry to pray. I substitute prayer with food, TV, or daydreaming about how things could have been different if I’d have done this or that. I troll through FB or IG in hopes of finding something, although I don’t know what. I instead create more self-pity and find myself envying others’ success. I get whiney and question myself and you about why I’m not successful. I hold on to the negativity and allow it to change my attitude toward the people around me. I get frustrated with them and mean, really mean. I question my faith even. So dear Lord I pray that you please help me to stop wallowing in self-pity. Help me to seek you instead. Help me to channel my frustration into something positive and in doing so serve you better. Help me to focus on your love for me and the opportunities you have already given me. Help me to be thankful for the doors you have opened for me. Help me to be more gentle with my loved ones even through the trials. Help me to use these trials to strengthen my hope in You. Please restore my spirit so that I can be a better example of your love. Thank you for your blessings today and the motivation to get some cleaning accomplished. Specifically the cat litter box. You know I’m serious about that one.

In Jesus name Amen

1/26/2015 God’s Word

-Searching the Word for Hope

-Thanking God for His Word

-Desire to seek out His Word before going to other sources

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path

I have sworn, and I will perform it, that I will keep thy righteous judgements”

Psalms 119:105,106

“May my desire to grow in knowledge of You come from a place of humility and not a heart seeking to puff itself up with pride” page 34

Dear God,

The past two years I have tried to read through your word every day. I started at the beginning and made it to the end. Then started on the New Testament to focus on Your new law. Honestly, as you already know, I struggled the second time and didn’t finish. I was intimidated and at times confused. In today’s world your words are interpreted in so many different ways. It is so easy to get confused or overwhelmed. At least it is for me. So I ask that you give me a clear understanding of Your word. Help me to see it’s true meaning and not be influenced by false interpretations. Help me to have faith in the truth. I pray that I can understand your word so that I can help others know your love. So that when I’m feeling overwhelmed with life I can recall your word and find peace. Help me to be less distracted and more focused on You. Thank you for giving me the desire to seek you today and I pray for endurance in this journey to seek you long after this study. If I fail, which is highly likely, help me to seek you again.

In Jesus name Amen

1/28/2015 Faith

“We can’t begin to fathom the work of Your hands. That’s the way you intended it. We can’t theorize one strategize because you dwell in unexpectancy.” page 44

“Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, “Go, throw yourself into the sea,” and it will be done.”

Matthew 21:21

Dear Lord,

You know my heart and my struggles with faith. I want more than anything to have true faith in You and your word. Why is it such a struggle? You are constantly showing me that you will take care of me and my family, but I’m still consumed with worry and doubt.

I get so confused as to what your plans are for me. Am I making the right choices, was that a missed opportunity. When do I give up on this project or adventure. Is this what I’m really suppose to do Lord. How are we going to pay this bill? Is the hustle ever going to end? Ahhhh!!!

I think all these things when I am weak Lord. But You tell me that you take care of the sparrows so that You will of course take care of me! And then I realize I know this. I know you will take care of me. So maybe I’m asking the wrong thing. (Lightbulb moment)

Dear Lord what I think I really need is peace during the wait. As in waiting for that moment when I know you are going to swoop in like Batman and save the day. Only you are way better than Batman and Your timing is perfect. Although, I must admit that I don’t fully grasp Your timing and I guess I don’t really need too. Help me remember that your eventually is different than mine. Dear Lord I believe in you! Peace in the waiting, yes THAT’S what I need help with.

Please Lord forgive me for being anxious and impatient. Thank you for your timing and I pray that as I reflect on that timing I can see how perfect your timing really was. Those bills will get paid, I will be okay. You always provide. Thank you for loving my mess.

In Jesus name Amen

God Said “No” today and I Kept Saying Yes

BlogpostSee that cupcake up there?  That was what I was what I should have planned to do all along today, but it took my stubborn self a few tries to figure it out.  Here’s how it all panned out and why I believe God knew I needed a break from school today but I didn’t believe him.  That’s the really crazy part.

This morning started out a little cra cra. (Roll your eyes at those words, but they make me laugh when I say them.  You know when things are crazy.)  Our neighbors decided to cut a tree down at 8:30 this morning.  They aren’t professionals and the tree fell the wrong way taking the power lines to our house with it.  No power meant no Saturday morning breakfast or at least the healthy yummy kind.  I decided to go ahead to the greenway and run (ok jog) then make the dreaded trek to school and try to accomplish the bazillion things I felt I needed to do today.  My heart wasn’t in though and I felt this extra sadness about leaving the house today.  I felt a pull and tug at my heart to just stay.  As I went to the car I see Ruby slide into the driveway, crashing her face into the gravel.  I drop my stuff run to her and pick her up.  She cries, but then says I’m okay you can go.  So I reluctantly go. I mean she didn’t even want me to clean her up.  I get to the greenway and realized I forgot my earbuds. I love my music when I run (ok again, jog), but decided to go anyway.  Finally, I make it to school where I feel overwhelmed, but I have a list.  I can do all things when I have a list and Pandora. However, every song Pandora played for me seemed to be something about slowing down, but I kept on.  What teacher has time to slow down, seriously, let’s change that station!!  Then came a phone call.  I won’t go in to that, but let’s just say it causes me to pack my bags and leave.  Marking only one thing off my list.  I deal with the issue and though exhausted mentally and physically and a little hungry for a bag of Reese’s mini’s and a large Diet Coke (haven’t had either in a month), I go back to school to mark off that list.  A list that includes typing and printing 4 project guides.  I decided to skip over project guides and moved down my list to “Chop millions of paper with the paper cutter”. This is a little therapeutic actually and much more healthier than Reese’s and a Diet Coke. Anywhooo, it worked for about 5 minutes.  Finally I made my way to the computer.  Happy that I saved some project guides from last year.  I hit the print button and print off not one but two saved guides.  Yes!!! I’m so smart for saving them.  However, my happy dance was stopped short by the printer breaking.  It spit my guides out, but there where no words printed on that shiny white paper.  Assuming my printer doesn’t use invisible ink I troubleshooted and troubleshooted again.  NOTHING!!!  At this point I stomped my feet, shed a few tears, and decided to just leave.  Making sure to slam the door.  Because that makes it all better. (insert eye roll). 

Let’s review.  Down tree+no power=no yummy Saturday breakfast(go eat out with your family), Ruby face plants (stay home and play that silly game with her), no ear buds (you can walk as a family later on today), dread of working (you really miss them), sad Pandora songs (duh how much more obvious can I get), personal yuckiness (this would have happened anyway, but you might have handled it better if you weren’t grumpy already), overwhelmed( I told you take a break), printer refuses to print (Hello!!! Do you hear me now???).

The pity party was full on in the car, but I managed to resist the gas stations with yummy Diet Coke and Reese’s and made it home to my loving husband and sweet girl.  I pity partied for a few more minutes and even turned down my sweet girls offer to make art with me.  I was tired.  I was sweaty.  I was pooped and overwhelmed by today’s crazy events.  I decided to take a long hot shower.  Long hot showers are great for washing away the physical dirt, but they can also be great at washing away the mental dirt too.  At least for me anyway.  And that’s where it hit me. God was trying to tell me to stay away from school today.  But I just kept on trying to be in control. And that never works.  I should have gone home the first time I left school.  Instead of coming back and stewing about the events of the day and why I had to work at school on a Saturday.  But I didn’t. Although God kept saying no I kept saying yes. 

I must admit that I am often confused by the choices I should be making, try to be in control,  and I don’t always see God’s plan clearly. However,  I’m not beating myself up for today events now or still having a pity party.  I think the beautiful thing is that although it took some kinda crazy stuff happening today I finally realized why and what I should be doing.  So when I got out of the shower, instead of eating ice cream, making my girl watch Netflix in the living room while I watched a sappy movie in the bedroom, I chose to paint a cupcake and giggle with her.  And now I’m better.  School will still be there tomorrow, maybe, Lord willing and the creek don’t rise.  And if I continue to have faith without a doubt I’ll get that crazy school work done and if I don’t, well, it wasn’t suppose to get done anyway.

Thanks for listening.

Odd Little Thing about me: I have to fold over the toilet paper 4 times before I can tear it off, 8 times if it’s in a public restroom.  Wasteful I know!!

Sillybug Saturday The Tale of Spring Break 2014

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This is the story of our cold Spring Break of 2014. As told by Sillybug.  Pictures by Mommy.

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Me and Mema had a picture.  And we went to see Grandma.  We went to see our church friends sing, Danny & Layna. I had a good time.  I was so happy that I danced my heart out. Until the tornado came. (There actually wasn’t a tornado.)Image

Sillybug was eating breakfast.  She smiled because her mom took a picture.  Then she ate her breakfast very goodly. She was sitting by some yellow flowers.  Then she had a pirate bowl and ate with her star power spoon. It was sitting in an old, old chair from Junk N the Trunk.  She had a pink room and a big bear that she loved very much.Image

Sillybug was sitting at her chair place when a tornado came. Her mom and dad were in the tornado.  Batman, Superman, and Wonderwoman took her up to space and tried to get her mother out.  Ruby stayed there.  They rescued her mommy and daddy.  Ruby became a super hero.

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Sillybug was sitting in her sister’s art room.  She was making some paint. There were some ninjas, bad ninjas.  They wanted to take Sillybug away.  They did last Thursday.  Her sister couldn’t find her when she was awake.  She knew what was happening.  They took Sillybug back to her hideout.  Her sister called the Super heros, Batman and Superman and Wonder Woman. Then they came, but didn’t know so they called Jean.  Jean seeked out where they were.  Flash went fast.  He was trapped.  Then they called Hawkgirl.  Hawkgirl couldn’t get them so they called Super Girl. Super Girl rescued Sillybug.

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This is the picture Sillybug painted.

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Sillybug made a jail. The chair looked like a jail.  Sillybug was in jail all sad.  She didn’t do anything.  The bad guys put her there.

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Sillybug loves her momma.  Well one night after Sillybug took bath they took picture with her mom.  She loved her very much.  They loved each other.  Mommy didn’t care because she loved to take pictures of her daughter.  Her daughter loved her mom very, very much.  The end.

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Well Sillybug was in the forest.  She loves the forest.  She jumped, layed down, and slept.  She did everything she wanted to in the forest.

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Sillybug was the cat napper.  She catched cats that didn’t have families.  She was a nice person and took them to her house and kept them pretty and safely.

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Sillybug had to go potty. But she couldn’t because there was a scary MONSTER.  But she made it without having an accident!

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Sillybug was trying to take a nap.  She couldn’t but her mom took a picture.  The sleepy tired monster got her.  She woke up and played out side.  She was so happy she couldn’t stop smiling.

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Sillybug was making a tent, she loved her tent, she slept in it.  She took a nap in it.  She did everything she liked in it.

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Sillybug was holding the cake.  She didn’t drop it.  The cake was for daddy.  Well she was making a Minion cake for daddy.  She loved it and ate.  They watched Turbo that night.  Somebody tried to steal it so she dropped it.

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So as you might have noticed she took some creative liberties with the retelling of our Spring Break.  Gotta love her creative spirit.

It was a fun week, although very cold and snowed on Tuesday.  We actually had to have the stinkin’ propane tank filled one more time.  We stayed inside a lot for play and only really ventured out 2 days. One day was to see Mema and the other to celebrate Daddy’s birthday.  We made a lot of art and one fabulous Minion cake, which you can see over in my Instagram feed.

I seem to rarely bring out the “big” camera these days, but made it a point to use it during this week.  She actually told me she preferred me to just use my iphone.  Hah! I guess she didn’t like me hitting her with it accidentally over and over while it hung around my neck.  Anywho, I loved using it, though the “big” camera required me to be more intentional and not as spontaneous. 

I’ve always loved shooting pictures and took several classes in college.  Maybe one day I’ll study it some more and feel confident enough to actually take pictures of other people besides my Sillybug.  Until then I’m glad she embraces the fact that mommy loves taking pictures and capturing the sweet & funny moments with her and her daddy.

An Unlikely Acknowledgment

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This post is about my grandmother or Mema as we call her.  She is 90 years old and has Alzheimer.  I don’t think she has really known me for almost 10 years now, maybe longer.  She lives in an assisted living home.  I will admit that I don’t visit her as often as I should.  Maybe once every other month or so, a little more over summer break.  We don’t talk much during our visits.  I usually read to her while Ruby plays and entertains the others tenants, then we leave.

She’s the only grandmother I’ve had since I was 13.  She kept me as a child while my parents worked.  She wasn’t very grandmotherly and here is where the “unlikely” part of the title might make sense. My family who might read this will understand. She kept me, but she didn’t make me cookies or give lots of hugs, like some grandmothers.  She rarely actually played with me.  Usually I entertained myself outside or watched TV while she sewed, crocheted, or worked in her ceramic shop in the converted garage.  She was an artist too. However, she didn’t teach me how to sew or crochet, and she would have preferred me to stay out of the ceramic shop.  I mainly remember standing at the door of the shop or sitting at the steps watching her or looking through the old World Book Encyclopedias she had stacked up next to them.  It was dusty from the clay dust.  My classroom, during my clay unit, always brings me back to those days because it takes on the same smell and collects the same dust.

I have never really considered her as much of a reason or inspiration for my creative endeavors or abilities.

I only remember my Mema actually teaching me one thing and that is the words to Amazing Grace. It hung on her wall in the living room.  You memorized Amazing Grace, sang it a couple billion times, and you might have actually gotten a smile from her as she spit  her chew into her mason jar.  Yep, she chewed.  I just thought you should know that tidbit of information too.  Makes the story more interesting, I think.

I only remembered her teaching me Amazing Grace, but the other day I started thinking about her and then thinking about myself.  I realized she taught me a whole lot more without knowing it.  I realized I actually owed her an acknowledgement.  An acknowledgement for my love, desire, and drive to create.  I loved watching her and I loved going to craft shows with her (I had to go, she didn’t drive, so my mom had to drive her, and I came along, because I had to).  No matter how cold she was, no matter how many times she encouraged me to go watch TV, I wanted to create like she did.  I wanted to make beautiful things.  I’m also a bit of a rebel and if you tell me I can’t do something I will do my best to prove you wrong and do it anyway.  It drives me.  In my teens that was bad, sorry mom.  Now I’ve turned it into something good called drive.  Although sometimes I think I go into overdrive.  Thankfully I have a wonderful husband who helps me with that and keeps me somewhat grounded. Overdrive can get a little crazy, but I digress, as usual. Any whooo, back to my Mema.

After thinking about my Mema and my experiences with her I realized how much she has not really inspired me, but influenced me.  That she really did teach me something other than Amazing Grace. She influenced my need to create things, to use my talents, and not let too much get in the way of those God given talents.  I say “too much” because the difference in my Mema and myself is I actually let my little one help me and create with her.  I make it a point to let her help.  And when I find myself pushing her away I think about how my Mema made me feel, apologize, and take time out to create with her.  Digression again, sorry.

I create because it’s in my DNA, it’s been passed down. I’ve been around it my whole life. It’s my nature. Passed down from my Mema, to my mom, to me, and it looks like, also, to a little Ruby.

So with all that I want to acknowledge my Mema and say thank you, not for the cookies or hugs. Thank you for the creative genes, the drive to create.  Thank you for sitting around sewing, crocheting, and making ceramics while a little girl stared a hole through you and longed to create like you.  Thank you for being creative.

And… I promise to teach Ruby Amazing Grace and sing it to you the next time I visit.

Note:  I love my Mema and did not write this in anyway to demean her or be disrespectful.  I truly am thankful for her influence.  As I finished writing this I had another moment of clarity and also realized  she actually taught me a lot about loving God and God’s love/grace for us.  That’s really, truly what counts the most anyway.

Odd Little Fact about me:  I actually do get in the zone and don’t want to be disturbed at all when I’m creating.  I understand, I guess, a little how my Mema felt when she created, and I have to fight the urge to not shut everyone out for hours and days when I’m needing to create. Like the week before a show.  The house is usually a mess and peanut butter sandwiches are eaten at all 3 meals.  If I didn’t get completely grossed out by body odor I’d probably not shower either.  And maybe I don’t, but I’m not telling you if I really do or not.  No judgement:).

Faith Without a Doubt

10007486_10152081142761464_1206263596_nThis week I posted on my mini-blog, aka Facebook, about having Faith Without a Doubt.  This was the first time I had given a hint as to what has been going on in my odd little brain during this past month.  You see, I read a passage in Matthew earlier this month about Jesus cursing the fig tree and trying to explain it to his apostles. Here’s how it goes,

21 Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. 22 If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

Well let me tell you this stuck in my head.  I couldn’t stop thinking about it.  I repeated it over and over again.  I woke up saying it.  I’ve said it so much that the other morning my sweet Sillybug repeated it to me. I was going on and on about making some life changes to my mother, probably sounding a little whiny, and probably even a little doubtful, and the next thing I hear quietly whispered from the backseat were the sweetest words ever. “Faith without a doubt Momma.”  Seriously, how did this 4 year old suddenly become so wise and intuitive, saying the exact words I needed to hear at that moment?!!  My own shortened version of what Jesus is telling us in Matthew.  This might sound crazy and a little odd, but that’s the name of the blog so let’s get past this before I even mention it, I believe it was God using my sweet little blessing to remind me to stop being whiny, have faith, and get out of the car.  He can do that you know.

Faith without a doubt, I’ve probably said it at least 10 times to myself today.  In my weak moments and in my happy moments.  I want to make changes, I need to make changes.  These changes seem scary and might seem crazy to some, but what’s really scary is I’ve needed to take this leap of faith and get out of this rut for a long time, but I haven’t.  I keep going back to the same old routine because it’s safe, although so frustrating and extremely stressful.  Safe and stressful.  Are those two words that really go together? I think not.  That’s like saying peanut butter and salad go together. That’s just not right!  I realized what I was lacking was faith.  I prayed to God to change my situation, but I didn’t really believe that He would.  Or when it seemed like it might be too tough or too scary to change I just gave up, assuming, though not really feeling it, that this is where I’m suppose to be so I must just suck it up & deal with it.

Well here’s what’s different about my thinking this time.  I’m going to have faith with a doubt like Jesus tells us to.  I’m going to work and have been working toward making changes.  I know it’s going to be hard, I’m going to get tired.  But I believe there are two kinds of tired, sick & tired and excited & tired. I ‘m ready to be the second of those combinations.  I know, I know I’m being very vague about these changes.  There are reasons, you’ll find out later.  I’ll write about it on here or the mini-blog:).

I also know, because I’m imperfect, that there will be moments & days I struggle with my little, but important mantra.  That’s where I need your help.  You guys are kinda like my accountability partners. So I ask that you might say a little prayer for me and my vague plans.  I promise you it’s nothing like robbing a bank, leaving Josh (he’s great by the way, very supportive, yay Josh!), or starting a new found love for salad.  I’m not that odd.  But it is something big, something very much needed for my family, myself, and a better way for me to serve as I should, using the talent God has given me.

Faith with a doubt!!!  I can do this, right? Yes, yes, I can! (Insert spirit fingers.)  I actually do that a lot at home, by myself, occasionally in front of Josh.

Anywhoooo.

Thanks for following along with me on this imperfect journey.  I’ll keep you posted.

And…

Oh yeah, my Odd Little Fact about me:  Mmmm, there are so many.  Oh yeah, I eat cheese on my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Yummy, yummy.

Family Spy Day

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It started out, there was this beautiful land with a castle on it.  There  was this family called the Brown family.  There names were Mommy, Daddy, & Ruby.  All of the family loved to do stuff.

Along came a firestorm.  There were spies back then and they found Ruby.  They went to this tiny school and they learned kids how to be spies.  Well, then they were going somewhere to spy out people and Ruby went too.  She spied people.  She flew on a vine and landed on a tree that she couldn’t get down.  Then she saw some people that were her mom and dad and she flew down to see them.  She went home with her mom and dad.  Then Ruby told her mom what she had to do.

She told her parents what spies do.  They swing by bad people, beat them up, capture them.  That’s what spies do, but they also love their mommies.  Their moms hug them very much, kiss their boo boos, and braid their hair. (I think someone has watched a certain movie with minions a few too many times)

The end.

I hope you enjoyed another Sillybug Saturday story.  She’s really into spy stuff right now.  I’m pretty sure she get’s that from her mommy.  I watch a lot of spy shows, my favorite now is Chuck.  What’s yours?

Guilt Free Night?

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I know I said that this blog wasn’t going to be so much about my Sillybug, but I didn’t say it wasn’t going to be about being a mom.

So tonight I’m sitting down (in my bed) to write my next post, which was about being odd, but I can’t stop thinking about another subject swimming in my head. So I’m putting my odd post behind me for another time.  I can’t get it to flow or sound…umm…not stupid.  Probably because I keep thinking about how guilty I feel about sitting in my bedroom with the door shut, okay not so shut, (I’ll tell you about that later) with my husband and daughter in the kitchen.

Why, why, why do I feel guilty????!!!!! Seriously, she’s been here 4 1/2 years and I can’t push the guilt of leaving them to themselves in the other room!  (Well, they are baking cookies, that might be why, I’m going to miss licking the spoon!) I digress, sorry. Guilt, I have never been able to totally shake it.  I can handle it when I go out and leave the house. However, It strikes worse when I’m at home with them, but not actually interacting with them.  If I’m working on something, like for school or making art, it’s not as bad, but if it’s a my husband says, “It’s okay you can go in our bedroom, watch Netflix or read, eat cookies, some might say have a glass of wine to relax.”, but I don’t drink (Nyquil doesn’t count, right, ha ha just kidding, maybe) kind of night, I get all crazy!  The guilt creeps in.

I should be in there making those cookies with them!  Aren’t I missing out on quality family time? I can’t lick the spoon! Does he know where the measuring spoon is, the difference between baking soda and powder??!!! (I’m not really sure about that one actually) Nervous breakdown approaching!!! Where’s the NYQUIL???!!!!

WAIT, STOP!!!

It’s going to be okay.  I need this time.  They need this time together, without me chiming in about how everything should be done.  I have made a gazillion cookies with her, watched movies, made crafts, and given her 20 million hugs and kisses.  Probably 100 kisses tonight alone.  They are going to be okay in that kitchen.

I need this time to chill, to remember and reflect on who I am. To settle my snarkiness (I think I just made that word up) and rid myself of that worse feeling(do I dare describe or admit it), that feeling of just needing to flee. And I don’t mean plan a trip with the girls to a cabin for the weekend, but a get in the car on a whim and not come back feeling.  That feeling is so much worse than guilt, at least for me.

So, here I am in bed, typing this post, while Sillybug and the Mister are happily bonding over cookies.  Reflecting, thinking, and wrapping my thoughts around this whole guilt thing.  Realizing for the first time that I need this and I can do this.  And maybe it’s not guilt that I feel, maybe it’s actually a feeling of wanting to be with them, but my mind, my spirit telling me, “Hey, you need to chill, by yourself, before you do something or say something you’re gonna regret.”

So, I’m going to continue to sit here and not feel guilty. Because to be honest, if I was in there it would not be “quality time”.  It would be “snarky mommy time”.  And there is nothing quality about that!

And maybe, if I’m lucky they’ll bring me a cookie with that icing, that they just came in asked me about, and then shut the door.

I hope this post helps you understand that guilt feeling a little better, maybe feel okay about it.  And realize that a little bit of me time will mean a little bit of actual quality time in the future. Like it did for me.

Thanks for reading,

Lindsay

Odd Fact about me:  I was born with not one, but two severely club feet.  I wore casts on my legs for almost the whole first year of my life.  The good thing, my mom could sit me anywhere and not worry about me wondering off. Plus, I have some really cool scars!

Sillybug Saturdays!

I’d like to introduce my first contributor to the blog.  I call her Sillybug.  She has a very creative imagination, likes to pretend, and make up stories, as do most 4 year olds.  I have decided to dedicate a weekly, okay it might be bi-weekly, post to her.  She is responsible for the subject or story.  I am going to write it in her words with limited edits.  So I apologize for the grammar, she is 4.  That being said, I’d like to introduce you to our first “Sillybug Saturdays!” post.  Enjoy!  I wish you could see the smile on her face as I post this for the first time.

PicMonkey Collage  Ruby Night & Mommy Night Together

by Sillybug

Long ago in a far away land there was this tiny, tiny house with people named the Black Family.  There was a little girl named Ruby. There was Lindsay. She was Ruby’s mommy.  She loved to make art.  Her dad was named Josh. He liked to build things. There was a little dog named Chopper and a cat named Pedro. There were also 3 cats named Gray Kitty, Orange Kitty, & Pale Kitty. Then there were neighbors called Caleb, Courtney, Connie, & Clint. There was a dog named George and one named Louie.  There were 2 cats.

Ruby’s daddy was going to Jason’s house to watch the football game. Well, mommy and Ruby watched a movie while he was gone.  When it was bed time her mom put her to sleep.  Then it was morning. Everybody was waked up in the town. Ruby waked up really early to go see her mom and dad in their bedroom. And then it was tomorrow, the day Ruby had to go to school and mommy had to go to school. Daddy had to go to work. Then they slept and called it Ruby Night and Mommy Night All Together.

Ruby was scared and she thought there was a monster in her bedroom.  And then Superman and Batman saved Ruby from the bad guys. Next, bad guys captured Ruby.  Batman and Superman tried to save her.   Batman got hurt.  They took Ruby to where they live.  Next, they made Batman better.  They went off to fight again.  And then Robin came.  All the superheros came. One of them got hurt.  Flash got hurt

There was a cold storm.  There was a snow queen who got Ruby’s mom and dad.  Then Superman and Batman heard about it.  And then they knew that they had to rescue Ruby.  They had to leave her where they lived.  And then Ruby slept where they slept.  They ate there and Ruby had a birthday. And then her Birthday was over and Superman and Batman wanted to make her a superhero.

And then one day when Ruby was going fighting she called Superman because Robin was hurt. They took Robin to Ruby and Batman.  When they were flying up there the bad guys where trying to capture Ruby again. When they where there one of the bad guys hurt her side. Superwoman was being Ruby.  They had to train Ruby.  They gave her a weapon.  It was a sword.  Then she had trained with the sword.  Then when Batman trained Ruby there was bad guys coming to where they lived. Then Ruby had to hide where the clothes were. Then Ruby tried to get out.  Then Ruby saw that Batman got killed and she called for Superman.  He came and saved the day by bringing Batman back to life.

And then Ruby woke up.

The End.