See that cupcake up there? That was what I was what I should have planned to do all along today, but it took my stubborn self a few tries to figure it out. Here’s how it all panned out and why I believe God knew I needed a break from school today but I didn’t believe him. That’s the really crazy part.
This morning started out a little cra cra. (Roll your eyes at those words, but they make me laugh when I say them. You know when things are crazy.) Our neighbors decided to cut a tree down at 8:30 this morning. They aren’t professionals and the tree fell the wrong way taking the power lines to our house with it. No power meant no Saturday morning breakfast or at least the healthy yummy kind. I decided to go ahead to the greenway and run (ok jog) then make the dreaded trek to school and try to accomplish the bazillion things I felt I needed to do today. My heart wasn’t in though and I felt this extra sadness about leaving the house today. I felt a pull and tug at my heart to just stay. As I went to the car I see Ruby slide into the driveway, crashing her face into the gravel. I drop my stuff run to her and pick her up. She cries, but then says I’m okay you can go. So I reluctantly go. I mean she didn’t even want me to clean her up. I get to the greenway and realized I forgot my earbuds. I love my music when I run (ok again, jog), but decided to go anyway. Finally, I make it to school where I feel overwhelmed, but I have a list. I can do all things when I have a list and Pandora. However, every song Pandora played for me seemed to be something about slowing down, but I kept on. What teacher has time to slow down, seriously, let’s change that station!! Then came a phone call. I won’t go in to that, but let’s just say it causes me to pack my bags and leave. Marking only one thing off my list. I deal with the issue and though exhausted mentally and physically and a little hungry for a bag of Reese’s mini’s and a large Diet Coke (haven’t had either in a month), I go back to school to mark off that list. A list that includes typing and printing 4 project guides. I decided to skip over project guides and moved down my list to “Chop millions of paper with the paper cutter”. This is a little therapeutic actually and much more healthier than Reese’s and a Diet Coke. Anywhooo, it worked for about 5 minutes. Finally I made my way to the computer. Happy that I saved some project guides from last year. I hit the print button and print off not one but two saved guides. Yes!!! I’m so smart for saving them. However, my happy dance was stopped short by the printer breaking. It spit my guides out, but there where no words printed on that shiny white paper. Assuming my printer doesn’t use invisible ink I troubleshooted and troubleshooted again. NOTHING!!! At this point I stomped my feet, shed a few tears, and decided to just leave. Making sure to slam the door. Because that makes it all better. (insert eye roll).
Let’s review. Down tree+no power=no yummy Saturday breakfast(go eat out with your family), Ruby face plants (stay home and play that silly game with her), no ear buds (you can walk as a family later on today), dread of working (you really miss them), sad Pandora songs (duh how much more obvious can I get), personal yuckiness (this would have happened anyway, but you might have handled it better if you weren’t grumpy already), overwhelmed( I told you take a break), printer refuses to print (Hello!!! Do you hear me now???).
The pity party was full on in the car, but I managed to resist the gas stations with yummy Diet Coke and Reese’s and made it home to my loving husband and sweet girl. I pity partied for a few more minutes and even turned down my sweet girls offer to make art with me. I was tired. I was sweaty. I was pooped and overwhelmed by today’s crazy events. I decided to take a long hot shower. Long hot showers are great for washing away the physical dirt, but they can also be great at washing away the mental dirt too. At least for me anyway. And that’s where it hit me. God was trying to tell me to stay away from school today. But I just kept on trying to be in control. And that never works. I should have gone home the first time I left school. Instead of coming back and stewing about the events of the day and why I had to work at school on a Saturday. But I didn’t. Although God kept saying no I kept saying yes.
I must admit that I am often confused by the choices I should be making, try to be in control, and I don’t always see God’s plan clearly. However, I’m not beating myself up for today events now or still having a pity party. I think the beautiful thing is that although it took some kinda crazy stuff happening today I finally realized why and what I should be doing. So when I got out of the shower, instead of eating ice cream, making my girl watch Netflix in the living room while I watched a sappy movie in the bedroom, I chose to paint a cupcake and giggle with her. And now I’m better. School will still be there tomorrow, maybe, Lord willing and the creek don’t rise. And if I continue to have faith without a doubt I’ll get that crazy school work done and if I don’t, well, it wasn’t suppose to get done anyway.
Thanks for listening.
Odd Little Thing about me: I have to fold over the toilet paper 4 times before I can tear it off, 8 times if it’s in a public restroom. Wasteful I know!!